Day 30

I DID IT! I managed to complete this challenge. I honestly didn't expect it to be this hard. And I really thought I would have made it a habit by now. I guess this proves that people really are selfish in nature. I had to fight myself, even toward the end to give, selflessly. It was a struggle to constantly think of others, and forget about my feelings, but I forced myself. I realized that I do NOT have what it takes to be a pastor's wife, at least, not at this time in my life. I know that God would give me that love and burden for others, if he gave me the role, but this month has shown me just how much it requires to be that sacrificial.
Well tonight, I baked banana bread. I plan to give it to an elderly couple in our church, who do without a LOT. Without money, without THINGS... yet they are so faithful in their attendance and giving. I hope I can encourage them. I hope I can bless them with this small token of love.
I have truly enjoyed reaching out to people in my life, that normally, most of them, I never talk to. I have touched people that needed to be touched, but they have touched my life as well. I found myself so blessed to be able to encourage. I felt so privileged to have the means, financially, physically, and emotionally, to do something for others. Yes, it was hard at times. Yes, it felt that I was giving more than I had, emotionally... but it just proved to me that when my strength is gone, HIS strength is perfect. I needed this. I might consider doing this challenge again, maybe once a year. I think it's important to get outside of ourselves for a while, and look for the needs of others. It is so easy to get stuck in our own little world. Maybe I didn't walk a mile in anyone else's shoes... but I took a look at the steps they take. I tried to identify with others, and imagine how they feel. I leave this challenge feeling blessed.
One of the responses that meant the most to me... just this last Wed night, a man came up to me, who I had recently delivered a "baked treat" to, said with tears in his eyes, "You will never know how much that meant to me. You will NEVER know. Thank you." I almost cried. He is right. I will never know. I don't know. I had no idea he (or his wife) needed that small gift. Just something to let them know I was thinking of them. Something to let them know they were loved, and simply, not forgotten. I hope I touched several lives through this challenge, but even if just one, that's enough. And if nothing else, I have changed myself. I might not be able to do something every day, but I have certainly trained myself to look for hurts in others, and tend to them. I have forced myself to be more aware, and to be an encourager. I find myself more tolerant of others, because I really do NOT know what they may be facing. I have a new perspective of my role in the church, and honestly, in life. I am here for others. I will do what I can. I am not here to judge, or to make anyone's life more difficult by my presence. I will do all I can to lift up. I will do my best to encourage. Always.
I hope I have helped.

Day 29

Well, almost done with my challenge. Just one more day to go.
Today, I wrote a comment via fb to a lady in our church who is very sick, facing dialysis, and in a lot of pain. I wish there was more than I could do but today, a reminder that she is being prayed for is what I can offer. I want her to know that her church family loves her and supports her, and cares for her well-being. I hope it helps.

Day 28

There is a middle aged woman who used to attend our church, but has since felt the need to attend a Spanish church. I miss her presence. I felt the need to say so. I left her a quick little note on her fb wall. I want her know that she is missed. I hope it helps... somehow.

Day 27

This post is a day late... yesterday, I found myself too tired, and too sick... and perhaps even too selfish to complete my challenge for the day. So I am making it up today. I wrote a note to a young girl in our church, who seems a little... lost. She is married, and has a young child... but doesn't have much family to speak of. Her parents kicked her out when she became pregnant and she has been forced to grow up a bit faster than she had planned. But she has clearly matured, and I see growth. I just wrote her a short note to let her know that she is appreciated and valued at our church, and that I am happy she belongs there. I don't know if she feels as out of place as she sometimes appears, but I want her to feel welcome. I would be so sad if she was lost, because I didn't do my job as her "encourager". So I hope it helps.

Day 26

I decided to branch out today. I chose to encourage someone in a new way. I have two friends who are merging their businesses. They have started a fb page for their new combined company. I decided to encourage them by suggesting to 150 of my friends that they become "friends" with this new business. I want them to know that they are supported. I have never done this... I rarely even accept friend requests from companies... but I felt they could use the encouragement, and hopefully, the potential business. It seems like a different kind of "good deed" but I felt it might help, in some small way.

Day 25

I made some cinnamon rolls today. I delivered them to a couple in our church, who does more for the church than anyone else. Alarm goes off... they get called (at all hours of the night). Leak in the roof? Overflowing toilet? Lightbulb burnt out? Broken... anything? Van driver, picking up saints and dropping them off after church? Sound-man? And that is just him. Organ player, children's choir leader, grandma who raises grandkids as if they are her own children... this is a very committed and giving couple. I have been wanting to give them some recognition for all they do. I feel as if my "gift" just isn't enough... but it's what I was able to do at this time. And apparently, it meant a lot. I already got a message that it brought tears to her eyes. I just hope it helps.

Day 24

I wrote another note today, to an older lady in our church who works at the front door as a greeter. While only 5 feet tall (approx), her smile is enough to reach great heights. She always has something positive to say, and somehow keeps a good attitude amidst the grumpiest of  people. I admire her for it. This I told her so.
I also received feedback on 4 of the previous notes. One said it mean so much to them. Another said it totally made her day. One, which I actually considered not giving, for the offense I somehow picked up by this person, said it was the nicest note she has ever gotten in her life. I really do hope this personal challenge is making an impact. I hope that I can help even one person feel loved, and encouraged by this. If I can help keep one soul saved, it's worth it.

Day 23

A couple nights ago at prayer, I used the women's restroom. As I entered, I noticed the toilet in the first stall was clogged. It was NOT pretty. I used another stall, then as I started to washed my hands, I started considering unplugging the NASTY mess. I came to the conclusion that I could not do it without puking. I figured I would just pass the word on to someone "in charge". Before I was done washing, a woman came out of yet another stall, and began taking care of the problem. This woman does so much for the church, mostly working on the lawns and flowerbeds. Her "job description" does not include toilet duty, but she is so willing to work... and with a smile on her face. I wrote a short note today, letting her know that she is a blessing. I hope it helps.

Day 22

Had a girls night tonight. We all had a great time and I felt it was an encouraging time for everyone. But one young girl, about 20 years old, really needed some extra help. She isn't someone I normally would have invited but when I saw her last night at church prayer, I felt the need to reach out. I see now that it was mostly God who urged me. This girl has been married for about 3 years now, and has recently "messed up" in her marriage. She can't forgive herself , nor can she feel she is forgiven by God. While I feel I am probably the last person that should be giving her counsel on the subject, I AM able to share my experience with forgiveness. I didn't understand grace until I was in need of it myself. I tried to encourage her in her walk with God. I don't know if my words helped her tonight but I hope they did.

Day 21

Another day, another struggle. Today, I was told that I a rude person. Normally, it would make me want to continue this challenge all the more, but for some reason, it hurt so much, I just wanted to quit. It's easy to tell myself that "I just can't please everyone" but that doesn't seem to help. Instead, depression became an issue again today.
But alas, I am fighting through it, and finding some sort of inner strength in order to encourage another. I write a note to a woman in our church who has made a lot of positive changes lately. When I first met her 4 years ago, she has many personal problems, including a nicotine addiction. Not too long after, her and her husband left the church, backsliding. I am happy to say they returned about 9 months later, and are now the "pastor and wife" of a daughter work here in town. The progress I've seen in this couple is amazing. I know there must be some who fight their success, but I feel it's important to be on the redeeming side. I am not their judge. I am their encourager. 

Day 20

Today, I wrote a note to my husband's aunt. I thanked her for being kind to my children. Maybe it seems like a silly thing to thank someone for but you'd be amazed how rare kindness can be. So while perhaps "only natural", I felt the need to say you anyway.

Day 19

Once again, I considered giving up on this challenge. At least for a day... but I forced myself to continue. Some days, I just don't feel like giving. *SIGH*
I wrote a note to a young girl in our church. I say "young girl" because of her age, maybe 21 or 22 now, but she has been married since the age of 14 or so, and has 3 young children (2, 4 and 6 yrs old). She's been attending our church for about 3 years now and doing so without the support of her husband. She struggles in her marriage, family relationships, and pressure from friends, all because of her walk with God. I admire her strength and determination, and so I wrote her a short note to let her know she is appreciated. I hope it helps.

Day 18

Our first day of this fast and I already feel I'm losing my mind. This flesh does not like feeling deprived! But I know that my spirit needs this.
Today, I wrote a note to a young girl in our church. She is part of a family that (I don't think) she really fits in. While her mom and sister are physically beautiful but often too self-confident and/or mean-spirited, this young girl is somewhat heavy, a little more plain, and so incredibly sweet. I don't know if she feel what I see, as far as not fitting in, but I hope, if so, I can help make her a little more confident in herself. I would just hate to see such a sweet girl become mean-spirited in order to feel like she belongs. So I told her that she is beautiful and that I appreciate her sweet spirit. I hope it helps.

Day 17

Today was my Sunday for 3 services again. I find myself not having time to eat, or take a deep breath... but it's a good busy. God blessed me today. The first service was amazing. I loved the message about the biggest mistake of your life. The devil makes mistakes. And his mistakes gave us salvation. It was incredible. The second service was good. I felt that I was able to give back, because of the blessing I got in the morning. I spent some time with a girl, who originally came to volunteer her time for a college class. This was her second time, and the second time she was sent into the nursery to do... basically nothing. I asked "the woman in charge" if I could invite her into the service. She was obviously hungry for God and that takes priority to college credits (in my opinion). My wish was granted and sure enough, she was touched. Slain in the spirit and afterward when I asked her how she felt, she just laughed hysterically for 2 mins. She was giddy with the joy that she felt from God. THAT is why I invest my time in people. I am trying to not point fingers at those that I think should be doing this, seeing as it is the reason they are there... but rather accept the responsibly myself and make sure I am picking up the slack. The third service today was one of the greatest ever. It would take me hours to write down all the tidbits I picked up in this service. But to summarize drastically, the message was about a generation who has become "deaf and dumb" (and yes, I HATE that phrase), spiritually, and it is our job to reach them. And we must do this by learning to hear and speak from/with God. The mt of transformation was about getting a current revelation of God's glory, and taking it with us down the mountain, to reach others. There was also a lot mentioned about demons, Jezebel, the Law, religion, Delilah... I can't even explain half of what was said. But it was incredible. 
In other news, we are starting a media fast. I will have to write down my blogs by hand and type out the next 6 days worth at the end of the week. Until then...

Day 16

A couple weeks ago, I was invited to two parties for today. The times overlapped so I had a decision to make. I could go to the party with more people, the more popular, and the more entertaining.... or I could go to the more private, intimate party, the one that would be more personal. I considered both. I debated it. But when it came down to it, I went to the one that would mean the most to the other individual. I put someone else before me. I would have preferred the bigger crowd... the more popular get together. But the smaller party, a dinner at someone's house, is what would mean the most to them. And while uncomfortable, to some degree, it is what I should have done. So I did. I made the sacrifice. I thought of someone else, before me. Sometimes, this is not easy to do. But I am getting better.
In other news, I got an email back from the camp councilor. She said I made her cry with what I said. She also told me that she wished I had gotten together with her step son, way back when. I take it as a compliment for someone to want me as family.
I am hoping my challenge is making an impact.

Day 15

When I was young, 13-15 years old, I attended a youth camp for a week each summer. There was one woman, always working as a councilor, who seemed to be fond of me (and I of her). She mentored me, more or less. And now, 15 years later, she still seems to be an encouragement to me, even from a distance. I don't know what she saw in me, at the age of 13, but she cared for me enough to take time out of her life to impact mine.
I don't know what she may be facing in life right now. Perhaps everything is going great. Perhaps she doesn't "need" encouragement at this time. But I felt impressed to give it. I sent her an email, telling her of what she meant to me back then, as well as now. I guess I've just assumed she knew. Sometimes, we do that. We figure that since we have felt a certain way for so long, it must be common knowledge (at least common to the person we feel it for). But perhaps she didn't know. Perhaps she needed to be reassured that her efforts have made a difference. I don't know. But I figure it can't hurt. Maybe, it might even help.

Day 14

WOW! Today was a challenge. I have never been more depressed in my whole life. I could hardly function. I considered giving up on my challenge, seeing as I could not get out of myself for even a moment. I tried several times to think of someone to encourage, or something encouraging to say, and I found myself stumped. Although I am sure in reality it was not, it sure FELT like one of the worst days of my life.
But alas, I found myself late at night fighting to get through it, and forcing myself to stick to my commitment (even if just for myself). So I wrote a note to a young girl in our church. My youngest recipient yet. This sweet 13 year old has had her fair share of struggles thus far, being given up by her parents and raised by her grandparents to name just one. But she has such a sweet disposition. She loves God and has a beautiful voice for one so young. I simply felt the need to encourage her in her walk with God, and give her hope of a brighter future. I hope it helps.

Day 13

I wrote a note today, to an elderly woman in our church. I told her how much she meant me, for what she does in the church, as well as for her sweet spirit. She is a beautiful example to all the ladies and I want her to know that I appreciate her.
I watched her during a service once, when the visiting minister asked those who struggle with self-esteem to come forward (meant as a youth service). This lady, in her late 60s or 70s went up. I couldn't help but stare while I teared up. I felt for her. And not just for her, but for myself. I realized that this is a life-long battle I face. And so, I told her that she is beautiful. I hope it helps.

Day 12

I cooked a meal today. I made a roast with potatoes, carrots, celery and onion, along with a loaf of bread and peanut butter cup cookies. I drove an hour and a half (round trip) to deliver the meal. It was certainly a sacrifice. But it wasn't until the drive home that I started to realize what was happening to me. I was enjoying the sunset, and the beautiful crisp autumn air, and it hit me... God is good to me no matter what. I have spent the last 12 days of this challenge focusing on others (which in itself isn't a bad thing) but I forgot to make God (and HIS love) the priority.
Regardless of what is happening in my life, God is the same. He is still a good God. And I am still blessed.
There are so many people that still need to be blessed (through me), because I am so blessed by Him.

Day 11

I don't feel that my "good deed" for today was substantial, but it was a sacrifice for me, and therefore, it's considered progress. A friend asked me to spend time with her today. I didn't want to. Not only have I been unhappy with this person lately, I just wasn't feeling it. I have gone into a funk recently, almost a depression, not wanting to do anything, or see anyone, or go anywhere, or talk to anybody... but I went. I stayed for several hours and I made the effort to salvage a friendship. Maybe for her. Maybe for me. I don't know. But I did something for someone that I did not "feel" like doing. They say that when you feel sorry for yourself, the best way out of it is to do something for somebody else. I am hoping it works. And soon.

Day 10

This is the first day that I had to force myself to do something encouraging. Even with the positive feedback I received today, regarding a previous encouragement, I did not feel like being kind to someone. I had to pray a long time to feel inspired to do something kind, and even longer to know who I should be kind to. Even still, I had to struggle through the process, while silently and secretly just wishing someone was there for ME. Today has not been my best day. I feel drained. Emotionally. And so alone. Today has not been my best day.

But I did write a note, to a young lady in my church. R____ is a bit of a loner, doesn't talk to hardly anyone, and not for their lack of trying. She is just quiet. Extremely quiet. But she has a sweet presence about her. I just wonder what is going on inside her world. If something was wrong, there is no way we would know. She just doesn't talk at all.  So maybe my note will help encourage her in some way. Just maybe she won't feel as alone as she seems to want to be. I don't know the reason that she is silent. Perhaps she's been hurt. Perhaps she is just afraid of being hurt. I don't know. But at least I let her know that she is loved. I hope it helps.

Day 9

Well this was an interesting day. I was out of town today, and curious how I would find the time to "do for others". I figured my day would be so busy, that I would wait until the last minute and write someone a card. But alas, opportunity presented itself. I just had to look.
After paying for public parking, and getting the sticker permit for my window, we strolled the neighborhood.  And although we paid for two hours of parking, we were done and ready to go after one. So as we loaded back into the car, a couple of young men were at the parking pay station. I offered them my sticker. They were very happy, and quite grateful, to receive this "gift". Something small, yet something random that I could do for someone else. Perhaps they will now do something for someone else, in order to pay it forward. Perhaps not. Either way, I am changing me. That is all I can do.

Day 8

Today, I gave cookies to a family. I dropped them off on the way out of town. I find that sometimes, doing for others is an inconvenience. Sometimes, it takes real effort. I suppose that's why it's hard to do. It goes against our nature to put others before ourselves. However, I am happy to be in this process. I want to change... me.

Day 7

I finally got some baking done today. I delivered a loaf of lemon poppyseed bread to a woman (G___) in our church who has been very sick for quite a while. She still doesn't know what's wrong with her but she is in a lot of constant pain. I stopped by quickly and dropped it off, and she seemed happy to see me (and the bread). :)
The delivery felt good.
I also received an email back from J____, a reply from last night's encouragement. She said she read the email in tears, and told me that just last night, she told her young son that she didn't know how she would get through this life. She said the email gave her the encouragement needed to survive another day. THAT is what this is all about. And while one might think it a coincidence that I sent her that email at the same time she was expressing her struggle to her son, I KNOW it was God. I prayed hard last night about who to encourage. I had so many names and faces coming to mind. I didn't know who to choose. God answered my prayer. If I had chosen on my own... well, there are many who SEEM to need an uplifting more than J____. Certainly, I would  have decided on one of them. But God sees SO MUCH that I can not see. I am thankful he was willing to guide me last night.

Day 6

Today, I wrote an email, rather than a hand-written card. I find that the "rules" I set for myself are being adjusted, but since I wrote them, I can do that. :)
There is a woman in our church by the name of J____. She has the sweetest spirit about her. She is all smiles, all the time, except during any given service, when she is crying from the touch of God. She is a single mother of two, and the daughter of a woman suffering with Alzheimer's. She always has such a good attitude about things, I can't help but wonder if it gets taken for granted. Sometimes, when someone is always doing things right, they go unnoticed. I just felt impressed to let her know that she is appreciated.

Day 5

Well, today got MUCH too busy. I had plans, once again, to bake, and once again, it did not get done. However, I did find myself thinking about others a lot more than I typically do. It was almost a constant thought, wondering who needs to be encouraged next.
Tonight, as I sat in the car before Tuesday night prayer at my church, I watched a woman walk across the parking lot and into the building. This woman is probably in her 50s? 60? and never married. She is one of the loneliest individuals I know, and yet, she rides the Max over an hour and a half from her home to this side of town, to attend church. And not just on a normal church service night, but she does this for prayer night too. That amazes me. I often stay home because I am tired or had a long day, and I live 2 miles away. How dare I?!?! This woman inspires me. It convicts me. I often think about if I had not gotten married, what life would be like. I think about how I would take care of myself, and how it would be to remain completely independent. I don't think I have ever considered my life alone at that age. Being 25 and single might be ok. Being 35 and single, sure. But 55 and single? I would want to give up and give in. I think I would settle and compromise.  I am convicted by this woman's dedication to God and faithfulness. And thus, I told her so. Today, I wrote my note of encouragement to L____. I hope it helps brighten her day.

Day 4

Onto day 4. I had planned to cook or bake something for someone but as usual, my day got busy... with life. heh
So I wrote another note. I thought long about who I wanted to write to, and I realized that I should be praying about who I need to be encouraging. So I did, and will continue, to ask God to reveal to me who needs some encouraging.
Today, I wrote a note to J____. She is a young girl in our church who seems to be a bit of a loner. She has been coming faithfully, along with her brother and parents, as long as I've been here (and for the rest of her life before that, I believe) but has always been an outsider. The young people accept her, but she is not "the popular one". I spoke with her a little while on Sunday, and I realized that far too many times, I walk by her and say hello, but never really "notice" her. So I wrote her a little note, telling her how I appreciate her, her sweet spirit, and her great example for my girls. I hope it helps brighten her day.
I did, however, go shopping. I bought cookie dough and cake mix, brownie mix, and a few easy meals. I am hoping to get on top of things and deliver something more than a card.
I will try to bake something in the morning. I wanted to bake tonight but as my husband is on a diet, I felt it would be unfair to fill the house with the glorious smell of cookies.

Day 3

Today, I did not go above and beyond... unless you count 3 churches services that. But I did deliver the two cards I had written. For one, I was thanked politely, several hours later. The other, only an hour or so had passed, and I was hugged and thanked repeatedly, and with tearful eyes, told that I would never know what it meant to them and if I had only known just how she had been feeling earlier during the week... almost wanting to give up. Well that made it all worth it.
I was also able to go out to eat with a friend, who I have not talked with in a long time. Not something extra special, as far as a sacrifice, but I am hoping it helped them.
I feel myself changing a bit already, thinking about others, wanting to help. I sat in church today looking around at people that I might sometimes look passed, studying them and wondering what trial they might be going through, that perhaps, I could encourage them through. It was something I want to do more often. Instead of being caught up in my own world, which does tend to get quite busy, force myself to see those around me and be sensitive to their needs. People show their hurts on the outside... sometimes, we just have to look for them.

Day 2

So today I wrote another card. I wasn't too sure if I would continue with my challenge on the weekends, but I have decided it's important. I want this to be 30 days in a row.
I am looking forward to having a bit more time, probably more often on the weekdays, that I can do something a little more extraordinary. Surprise someone with a cake or a nice gift. But in the meantime, a card will have to do.
Today I wrote a note to S____. I just reminded her that I loved her, and am so happy she is a part of my life. I don't want people that I care about to ever forget what they mean to me. I hope it brightens her day a bit.

Day 1

So here is my challenge. I am wanting to change myself. I want to care less about me and more about others. I am going to do this by encouraging someone every day for a month. I will find some way to reach out, even if just by a card, saying that I am thinking of them. If time and money allow, I will do something more elaborate, such as dinner or flowers... maybe bake something yummy. If it takes 21 days to make a habit, I am hoping that by the end of my 30 days, I will be in the habit of thinking of others more than myself. I do this to change me. So if I write a card, and it gets to them 2 or 3 days later, it still counts for the day I wrote it. I just want to give of myself, in some way, each day.
So day 1, October the first, I wrote a card to my good friend L____. I just told her what she means to me, and how much I appreciate her role in my life, as well as in the lives of my daughters.
I am actually looking forward to running out of close friends to encourage, and maybe reaching out to someone I am not close to. I am excited about this challenge.