Day 30

I DID IT! I managed to complete this challenge. I honestly didn't expect it to be this hard. And I really thought I would have made it a habit by now. I guess this proves that people really are selfish in nature. I had to fight myself, even toward the end to give, selflessly. It was a struggle to constantly think of others, and forget about my feelings, but I forced myself. I realized that I do NOT have what it takes to be a pastor's wife, at least, not at this time in my life. I know that God would give me that love and burden for others, if he gave me the role, but this month has shown me just how much it requires to be that sacrificial.
Well tonight, I baked banana bread. I plan to give it to an elderly couple in our church, who do without a LOT. Without money, without THINGS... yet they are so faithful in their attendance and giving. I hope I can encourage them. I hope I can bless them with this small token of love.
I have truly enjoyed reaching out to people in my life, that normally, most of them, I never talk to. I have touched people that needed to be touched, but they have touched my life as well. I found myself so blessed to be able to encourage. I felt so privileged to have the means, financially, physically, and emotionally, to do something for others. Yes, it was hard at times. Yes, it felt that I was giving more than I had, emotionally... but it just proved to me that when my strength is gone, HIS strength is perfect. I needed this. I might consider doing this challenge again, maybe once a year. I think it's important to get outside of ourselves for a while, and look for the needs of others. It is so easy to get stuck in our own little world. Maybe I didn't walk a mile in anyone else's shoes... but I took a look at the steps they take. I tried to identify with others, and imagine how they feel. I leave this challenge feeling blessed.
One of the responses that meant the most to me... just this last Wed night, a man came up to me, who I had recently delivered a "baked treat" to, said with tears in his eyes, "You will never know how much that meant to me. You will NEVER know. Thank you." I almost cried. He is right. I will never know. I don't know. I had no idea he (or his wife) needed that small gift. Just something to let them know I was thinking of them. Something to let them know they were loved, and simply, not forgotten. I hope I touched several lives through this challenge, but even if just one, that's enough. And if nothing else, I have changed myself. I might not be able to do something every day, but I have certainly trained myself to look for hurts in others, and tend to them. I have forced myself to be more aware, and to be an encourager. I find myself more tolerant of others, because I really do NOT know what they may be facing. I have a new perspective of my role in the church, and honestly, in life. I am here for others. I will do what I can. I am not here to judge, or to make anyone's life more difficult by my presence. I will do all I can to lift up. I will do my best to encourage. Always.
I hope I have helped.